Highlights

There is so much value in reframing failure. Failure has this negative stigma but it can be a tremendous teacher.

Be aware of what “Society” deems as failure and success. Money, beauty, and fame are generally not a good measure of success. Living in line with what brings you value is a much better way to evaluate how successful you are.

View failure in gradations rather than in black and white. Often there is something to learn in our experiences, especially the ones that challenge us.

Separate yourself from your perceived failure. Saying “I have failed” might lead you to believe you are a failure when really there was just failure in that experience.

It’s ok to experience struggle and failure. You don’t always have to make everything perfect right away. Even if you don’t feel great all the time, you can still try to find the silver lining.

Life is full of much hardship but also much joy. Living a balanced life will leave you with the best experience

It’s easy to get caught up in the instant gratification of accomplishing things. But there is nothing wrong with taking time for yourself.

There is a difference between being busy and being productive. Determine what matters to you and focus on that. Check out Ego Lab’s first Episode “Destinations” to help decide what you want to focus on.

Your society is your 15-30 closest relationships. It’s important to be deliberate about who you surround yourself with and let into your society. This applies in real life and in your technology spaces.

Be sure to evaluate your values and the values of the people around you. What you consider success and failure should be close to theirs.

Use accountability buddies to improve anything. Want to wake up earlier, ask a friend to help you with that. Want to become a less picky eater, ask your friends to remind you that you’re the type of person who eats everything!

When you incorporate new identities into your inner narrative, it becomes much easier to follow through. When you tell yourself you’re the person who goes to bed earlier, it becomes natural to go to bed earlier.

Write your values down. Using one of the worksheets on the Ego Lab website or a journal or workbook can be helpful.

Failing can be much different in private than in public. One comes with built-in accountability, the other does not.

To give yourself the best chance to succeed publicly, separate what’s important for you to pursue and what the public thinks is important.

Timestamps

00:35 - Breaking the stigma associated with failure

2:25 - How society plays a role in what we consider failure

4:38 - Why failing doesn’t make you a failure

5:58 - Is it ok to feel “bad”

9:29 - Are we hard-wired to seek success?

11:28 - Who controls your society?

13:55 - Using accountability to find success

17:50 - Why failing in public is different than failing in private

20:50 - Two powerful tools for overcoming failure